One for girls

<div><font color="#000080" size="3">Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? <br /><br />A: Through his chest with a sharp knife. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why are men and parking spaces alike? <br /><br />A: Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? <br /><br />A: They can't stand criticism. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and <br />good-looking? <br /><br />A: Because those men already have boyfriends. <br /><br /><br />Q: How do men sort their laundry? <br /><br />A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable" <br /><br /><br />Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm? <br /><br />A: Because men fake foreplay. <br /><br /><br />Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? <br /><br />A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. <br /><br /><br />Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? <br /><br />A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of <br />driving. <br /><br /><br />Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? <br /><br />A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody. <br /><br /><br />Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on <br />the ground? <br /><br />A: Shoot him again. <br /><br /><br />Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? <br /><br />A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the <br />noose. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why do little boys whine? <br /><br />A: Because they're practising to be men. <br /><br /><br />Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? <br /><br />A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve <br />aroundhim. <br /><br />OR Three -one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the <br />screwing part. <br /><br /><br />Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? <br /><br />A: Trustworthy. <br /><br /><br />Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and <br />calling your name? <br /><br />A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? <br /><br />A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? <br /><br />A: To stop the snoring before it starts. <br /><br /><br />Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? <br /><br />A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. <br /><br /><br />Q: What is the difference between men and women... <br /><br />A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. <br /><br /><br />Q: How does a man keep his youth? <br /><br />A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. <br /><br /><br />Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? <br /><br />A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" <br /></font></div>