DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49# i+ a& F2 D7 y' y' }' N
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
4 K$ q4 g# I6 N- b: z0 {" R" ~$ EAthletic............................No boobs2 h. x# t$ l6 |
Average looking.................Ugly
: E! b _+ q8 d4 HBeautiful...........................Pathological liar. F: C; a7 B4 b
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills' B$ b, t$ {$ x2 P1 i3 K
Emotionally secure..............On medication9 K5 l6 ~. [9 v
Feminist............................Fat$ Y$ C. l( {+ J. o9 v( h; |6 H; M
Free spirit..........................Junkie
/ A8 G6 K* Y( V5 `/ k5 L6 _Friendship first...................Former slut. T- h9 [6 H5 T. Q7 Y2 w
Fun..................................Annoying5 Y3 a7 e# m1 v% W
Gentle..............................Dull3 L/ l3 F T& l( J+ q7 ]# h
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places$ x# S6 e" T* `# Y
Open-minded.....................Desperate
" Q: a! T# }# Y( c& V, |2 _4 t6 DOutgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing6 L# N3 V! b. O7 @( G
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
B& Z1 D8 E, v+ ]( S( K3 M# Y* gPoet.................................Depressive* |8 w% h2 |# u4 F& b( D! {
Professional.......................Bitch
) Y m! s6 a9 CRomantic...........................Frigid5 t: Q% J6 L2 f
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
) _7 q* I. r' f' R4 b$ `Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
1 a% \" {8 L) i9 n( w0 d, ~Wants Soul mate................Stalker4 t7 \5 _. n9 k' _5 i
Widow..............................Murderer: W% }7 B7 v9 |1 I' z# V) a
7 }& Z" y8 c/ X9 F; yWOMEN'S ENGLISH$ `, v' B0 Y1 I4 {& `% M
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1. Yes = No
6 ~0 Y% I; F- _; m2. No = Yes. r m0 F5 T) I4 I8 l& ^# J
3. Maybe = No T2 y$ q# `% L7 l! i0 F9 |+ I3 `
4. We need = I want
; v5 V% U/ s$ y) B6 J5 q1 u5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
. X) a6 F) I; s8 s2 M4 W r u6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
: Y6 u$ Q1 X9 B; |6 e4 d7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
, r/ N8 r; K, m( U' J6 S( C& F7 K8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
, k6 y& U" G1 j- K0 _9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
- R& N! Y0 a" N2 h S" Q% z10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
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MEN'S ENGLISH# \, |: \: O1 H
! z8 W- v$ [# Q" I8 M) E
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
: }$ r) v1 @- J" @0 K+ z2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy; ]2 n" N0 u1 h
3. I am tired = I am tired+ K2 H8 J$ Y8 V
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
8 n; u! V2 f! w) F5. I love you = let's have sex now
3 T$ F* M6 d- j0 {, n/ n. A$ _6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
% z4 P/ Q: ~% E4 Q% t7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
& Q7 A0 u' l& T* z4 s- b8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you+ ]" g% ?/ x) M$ D$ {
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you, h X1 t6 K" o
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you) a0 M/ B3 L3 z
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
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/ t8 ~0 e* ~1 V% U( n/ kAnd finally.....
: a5 I/ {' ~, h$ }# s" `" y, Q) A E! @+ ^, b9 i
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. F; d: F0 |9 U+ E' f, d9 p9 _$ m
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.$ f. Z: N1 w$ ?/ C' b
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
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NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!
4 @6 o4 k* `3 {
有时侯,有时侯.我会相信一切有尽头. 相聚离开都有时侯.没有什么会永垂不朽..
可是我.有时侯..宁愿选择留恋不放手..等到风景都看透..也许你会..陪我看细水长流...
